Getting Back On Track


Putting up a post on this Blog is hopefully an indication that I’m beginning to get back on track. This has been a particularly difficult period for me and I’m sure I’m not out of the woods just yet. I do feel I have turned a corner though and that is a very good think – I think.

To help me get back on track I’m actually taking a week off work from Christmas Eve until New Year’s Day, returning the following day. I’m really looking forward to a week of sleep, rest and relaxation.

 

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Haphazard Posting


The last several months (and indeed the majority of the year – if not longer) has been marked by the haphazard and irregular nature of my posting to my Blogs and the updating of my websites. This is likely to continue for some time and for an indefinite period of time. Why? I have been battling depression (essentially), though I have no real understanding of why/how it has come about. A number of years ago I was involved in a car accident that nearly killed me and I suffered a brain injury as a result of the accident. I am as fully recovered as I am likely to be and it has not really left a great permanent impact on my life – though this depression may prove to have been its lasting legacy.

I have thought of closing down the Bogs and websites on a number of occasions – but have not really wanted to do so. I would like to return to them with the same enthusiasm that I once had, though I am obviously unsure when that will be. Also, closing down the sites would be like yielding to the mental illness and sliding further down the slippery slope, which is not something I want to do. So it’s six of one and half-dozen of the other as regards what to do.

So if you have been a regular reader/user of my sites I ask for your continuing patience and understanding – normal service is something I am aiming at returning to. I just don’t know when that can/will be.

 

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Not Reading


It has been such a long time since I sat down and read a book – even a chapter. I have found that when I get down/depressed I just don’t want to read – even though it would probably lift my spirits. It just seems too hard to do. This is something I hope to correct starting tomorrow – I probably should start this right now as tomorrow I will probably decide against it. The only reason I won’t start today is I am simply too tired and I need to get to bed soon. This post will remind me to do so
tomorrow – I hope.

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A Long Time


It has been such a long time since I’ve posted to this Blog and a lot has been going on – maybe not so much in the physical realm, as life in that sphere has been pretty boring really. There have been many mental and spiritual battles, and who really knows if any useful progress has been made at all. I think I may be coming to terms with depression, not that I have seen anyone about that. It has just been something I have been in denial about for so long and I am finally beginning to accept it as a reality in my life. I’m not likely to see anyone about it either – that’s just the way I am. But accepting it as a reality is really a major step and a step that will help me to move on from it as well. That is how I see it and it seems to be the way that life is progressing. I think even writing about it in a post such as this is also something that will assist me to move on and ‘recover’ as well.

I also know what the issues are – or at least a good number of them and I am seeking to address those as well. So hopefully there is some useful progress being made in all of this. Time of course is something that is required and it has been and will undoubtedly continue to be what is required as I move forward with my life. I certainly don’t intend to spill the beans on everything in this post (or any future post for that matter), as I am an intensely private person – and yeah, I accept that that probably doesn’t help me a great lot (being an intensely private person) and will probably mean a slower journey going forward.

I have issues with trusting people, so opening up to others is not something that I do easily. Having been hurt in the past it is difficult to trust people quickly and to share with them those things that are of heart concern to me. I have done so in the past with special people, that I regarded as being people I thought highly about (and still do – even though those relationships probably no longer exist) and viewed as quality people. I am also sure that given the right circumstances I will come across these highly valued types of people again and will be able to share my life experiences with them – but not just at the moment, as they simply don’t exist in my life for the time being.

I miss one person in particular and there is no way that I will have those precious moments again. She has been gone for some years now and I miss her like none other. I visit here from time to time in her final earthly resting place, but it has also been a long time since I have done that. I think I need to go again soon. I haven’t been for so long because it is a difficult place to go and my heart breaks when I do. I miss her so much and it was perhaps her passing that started me on my downward spiral – or at the very least accelerated it, not that I have reached a terrible dark place with little light – it is not that bad. No, it began before she died – but missing her has made this time all the more difficult.

It has been a long time – but it is now well beyond time to move forward from this place of sadness, darkness and difficulty, and to leave the black dog behind. May it be so.

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Internet Issues Resolved


The Internet has been one issue after another for me in recent months – I do hope those issues are now largely resolved. Hopefully I no longer need to worry about connectivity, reaching my monthly limit for downloads, etc. I have now reached into the future (or perhaps the past) and grasped hold of a more ‘modern’ approach of connecting to the Internet. Actually it’s not really all that modern – more a case of catch-up and that only to the limits of what is currently available here. Still, my issues should be now solved and that means consistency in Blog posting and the like.

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Taking a Break


Just a quick note to let everyone know I’m taking a break from Blogging for the next week or so – possibly two. Thanks.

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Some Changes


Originally posted on My Portal News:

I think you can expect to see some changes on some of the websites and Blogs I run in the very near future, including the website this Blog is associated with. Kevin’s Portal has become something of a frustration with me, as I have been unable to update any pages for a while. Indeed, the books page will not update and has even been deleted, without me having any ability to fix the problem – so it is likely that I will be changing hosts very soon. This will also mean a change in URL. So please keep an eye out for that as I won’t be able to change things on the website as it currently stands – i.e. keep an eye on this Blog.

Another big change – at least for me – will be the way I do Blog posts right across the board. I have a…

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My Project 365


The link below is to another Blog I have going called ‘My Project 365.’ It is a complement to this Blog and provides a pictorial view of my life as I go about each day. It does’t record every aspect of my day, but is meant to capture the occasional photo throughout the day. Anyhow, take a look sometime and get the feel for it.

Visit My Project 365 at:
http://particularkevsproject365.tumblr.com/

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Miss American Dream – Britney Spears


The link below is to a rather large article concerning Britney Spears, which I haven’t read as of yet. I do intend reading it though. Since it is mean’t to be something of a biographical piece I thought it might be interesting. So, sooner or let I’ll have a read – hopefully over the next week and see what I think.

For more visit:
https://medium.com/matter/miss-american-dream-31c823ad0e5a

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Pointless Unplugging


The link below is to an article which provides some further commentary on the sort of thing I was writing about in my previous post really. The article linked to below explores the pointlessness of unplugging in a digital age, to which I agree by the way. Perhaps we need to find a better balance in a digital world.

For more visit:
http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/culture/2014/03/the-pointlessness-of-unplugging.html

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